The Ask and the Answer

The book I will be review for this week is.. Wait. Aren't I forgetting something. Hmmm. Oooh yes. Christmas. Merry Christmas eve everyone. I guess you suppose this review is going to be all Christmassy and Merry, full of candy canes and sleigh bells. Well I’m afraid it wouldn't fit with the book I’m reviewing this week. Which is full of loss, torture, action, suspense and murders most foul. If you like you can go and find a happy review of ‘The night before Christmas’, or something along those lines, But if you are intrigued by what I have told you I recommended you stick around.

Wow. I must say I was very dramatic in writing that opening. Very well lets get on with the book, those who have stayed to read. The book I have review this week is “The Ask and the Answer”, The second book from the Chaos Walking trilogy written by Patrick Ness. I enjoyed this book very much, more then the first. So I must say they are getting better and better. This one had way more  suspense than the last and I think that’s why I enjoyed it much more. The fact that I couldn't put it down because something was always happening, there was never one dull second. Never.

Fleeing before a relentless army, Todd has carried a desperately wounded Viola right into the hands of their worst enemy, Mayor Prentiss.
Immediately separated from Viola and imprisoned, Todd is forced to learn the ways of the Mayor’s new order.
But what secrets are hiding just outside of town? And where is Viola? Is she even alive? And who are the mysterious Answer?
And then, one day, the bombs begin to explode…

Of coarse you can’t tell but while I wrote that I was remembering everything that resulted in all things said up above. While answering the questions in my head as well. I would love to tell you everything that happened, all the amazing fights and horrible gruesome deaths, to the mind manipulation and betrayal. But I’ll hold it in, Believe me I’m trying my best not to rune it for the people who want to read it, really I am.

Now for something I haven’t done in a review in a while, My favorite character. I have to say it’s Viola. When reviewing the first book I didn't have a favorite  because they were all so different and interesting in there own ways, But I have to change that now. Viola has changed the most within the two books, I know most people would say it was Todd but I have to disagree. Her personality and feeling have grown a lot. She goes from being a non-speaking shy girl, to a strong leader full of confidence and is not scared to speak her mind. She has some fierce anger inside too, will never give in to the enemy and do what’s right.

Also the relationship between Todd and Viola has grown some what, but that is all I’ll say.

“How do you know yer alive if you don’t hurt?”

“Yer the only friend I got, pigpiss… Ain’t that the biggest tragedy you ever heard?”

“She tried to kill you, Viola. She tried to blow you up… You don’t owe her nothing,’ he says.
But I feel his arms on me and I’m realizing things don’t seem so impossible anymore. I feel Todd touching me and there’s anger rising in my gut but it’s not at him and I grunt and I pull myself up again, leaning on him to keep me there as I stand. ‘I do own her,’ I say. ‘I owe her the look on her face when she sees me alive.”

“Or perhaps we should just ask Todd.”
I pound the glass right at his face. He doesn’t even flinch.
And then she says, “Todd would never tell you. Never.”
And the Mayor just looks at me.
And he smiles.”

“You won’t,” says the Mayor, smiling again. “Everyone knows you aren’t a killer, Todd.”
He pushes Viola forward again-
She calls out from the pain of it-
Viola. I think-
Viola-
I grit my teeth and raise the rifle-
I cock it-
And I say what’s true-
“I would kill to save her,” I say.”

“As to how you’ll help me,” he says. “Well, we have met the Answer, have we not?”
He turns back to look at us, his eyes glinting. “It’s time for them to meet the Ask.”

I have to say the last quote there would have to be my favorite of all. I always try to look out for when they bring the title into the book, explaining why it is called what it is.

I would give this book five out of five stars and would recommend it to thirteens and up. It is an amazing book as I have said many times in this review you must be sick of it, But it really is. I think it will be very hard for you to find a better book to read with the qualities I have said.

Again, Merry Christmas eve. I hope you get lots of books for Christmas, I sure hope I do. Now I’m off to watch my favorite Christmas movie, ‘The Nightmare before Christmas’.

Dark Lord: A Fiend in Need

First things first, I have to apologize for not having a review up last Monday. With study and Christmas shopping it was just mayhem. Complete. Utter. Stress filling mayhem. So to make up for it I shall make this review a good one.

I really did  love the book I reviewed last, Dark Lord: Teenage Years and I absolutely recommend it by the way. Usually I wait a week or two before I review the sequel of a book I’ve just read. You know to  recover from the emotional pain it has caused me, but in this case not so much. The second of the Dark Lord books was just casually sitting on my shelf before it caught my eye when I was choosing what to read next. From then on it was no longer just sitting there. It was sitting there just mocking me with its amazing cover and many other qualities. I’m afraid in a moment of weakness and I heard a voice calling to me, telling me to pick the book up. So from those events this weeks review is… drum role please… Dark Lord: A Fiend in Need. (By Jamie Thomson)

I don’t have much to go on in this review, I literally pored my heart out in the first Dark Lord review, But the review must go on!

I did enjoy this book quite much. There were the same laughs, maybe even a bit funnier then the last. The same old weird, strange and wonderful characters and a few new faces. Plus the illustrations were as unremarkable as ever, I especially love the image of the Dark Lord himself. I expected him to be a bit more scary though, for example maybe a cross between an Orc from Lord of the Rings and the Litch from Adventure Time, but it was still first-rate.

The second of two.. well I’m not sure it’s a good idea myself to tell you what it’s about I seem to go on forever with explaining so I’ll just borrow the description from the back of the book:

SALVATIONS, WRETCHED MINION!
It is I, the Great Dirk, destroyer of worlds and most gifted writer ever! My loyal servant Sooz, child of the night, is trapped in the Darklands. The horror! It is vital that I return there before she causes too much trouble…

Time for some negativity unfortunately. Since the first one was so astonishing I think he rushed the second a bit. Some obstacles were just to simply got out of and every time Sooz told Dirk to do something or stop him from doing something he would just agree with her, which I found a bit irritating. I mean he is the Great Dark Lord, is he not and he seems to be taking orders from a child. I was disappointed at this point, but then the disappointment was replaced with suspense and fear when he… well you’ll have to read it to find out. The ending to me was over quite fast and I wasn’t happy knowing this is how it would end, but with that last single line I just stopped thinking about the negative things and was staring at that line for over an hour shocked to the very core.

“Mental problems! Typical of you humans that is, typical. You find someone with an intellect way beyond your own feeble capacities and what do you do? Honour them? Give them the respect they deserve? Put them in charge of bio-weapons research or something useful like that? No, they label you insane and put you in s home with some kid named Christopher! Pah!”

“Sooz’s haw dropped. For a moment she thought it was Darth Vader himself, right out of the Star Wars films, but as the figure drew nearer, she could see that the helmet wasn’t right, it was black and shiny but more like a crusader helmet from medieval Earth, and black clothes and a cape were cut differently.”

“Oh, it’s like that, is it?” said Belchvile. “just coz I’m an Orc I must be stupid, eh? that’s just racist, that is!”

“How dare you!” said Grout. “That’s a detention right there, boy!”
“Of coarse, sir” said Dirk. “but don’t you think you should send me out of the class as well? Only I have an important call to make. If not, I will simply sit here and loudly sing “La Marseillaise”, easily the best of all your absurd Earthly national anthems, until you do.”

Over all it was an amusing, witty, adventurous and bizarre book and with the way it ended, I’m sure a third is not far away.

I shall not end with threatening you to buy this book. I will leave you with the threat from the Great Dark Lord, destroyer of worlds himself, left of the back of the novel:

BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:

* An unwanted surgical procedure.
* Being turned into a zombie servant. 
* Being cursed with the Cantrip of Uncontrollable Flatulence. 

THE CHOICE IS YOURS. 
MWA HA HA! 

 

Dark Lord: Teenage years

I think my review should start with an evil laugh. You’ll understand more once I tell you about the book. I got the first and second book together and started them instantly. The name of the book is Dark Lord: teenage years by Jamie Thomson. Unfortunately I might not have a review up next week. Exams, but I’ll try and if one isn't up on Monday I apologise. Sincerely.

Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to. Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2.

It may seem like a lot for writing just to say what the story's about, but believe me, this book deserves it. I really did love this book. I haven’t enjoyed a book and actually laughed out loud like this since Skulduggery Pleasant.

Why I got bought these books was because this book was the Roald Dahl Funny Prize winner 2012 in the seven to fourteen category.

I have to say my favourite character would have to be Sooz (Susan), known as the child of the night by Dirk Lloyd aka The Dark Lord. She’s very funny and I like the tone of voice and the fact that her personality is so strange, weird and wonderful.

“You may call me master”.

“Purejoie! Your homework is late - no excuses, detention.
Then he became Christopher again. ‘I think not, Mousehammer! Meet my bodyguard, Darth Vader!’ 
 Christopher put on the deep, dark voice with the breathing difficulties and said, 'Your powers are weak old man! The ability to give out detention is insignificant next to the power of the force'”.

“He’s like, really miserable. Depressed or something, I’m not sure. The whole thing seems to have hit him pretty hard. He’s like Darth Vader on valium. Hasn't said a word since we got back, just stares glumly out the window”.

“Well, Goths are people who follow a particular fashion style. And a particular kind of music. But it has to be Gothic - you know, some Victorian looking stuff, horror films, maybe a vampire look, which I’m so pleased you noticed. Bit of heavy metal sometimes, or grunge, or some indie bands, and death rock as well. But mostly for me, straight up Goth are kind of, well, different, like outsiders. We don’t fit in with normal people. Or “Normies” as I call them”. 

“‘I shall use all my evil genius to see you liberated from the baleful influence of that tyrant Grousammer and you will be free to prowl the night like the sweet little vampire you are’, Dirk enthused.”

I loved this book and I can’t wait to start the next one. If I could I would give it a thousand stars but I’ll just stick with five out of five for now. I would recommend this book to elevens and up. I would just like to give a big, MASSIVE thanks to Paul Sherry for buying me these books!

Thank you.

Lady of the Shades

What. A. Weird. Read. And yet I loved every second of it. 

Darren Shan is one of my favorite authors, of all time! I’ve read two of his series’ of books. Which I have reviewed and if I remember where absolutely amazing. My book I am going to review this week I picked up at random. And bought instantly just because I saw the name Darren Shan. The thing is I didn't even read the back to see what it was about. which I think wouldn't of made any difference, because It made no sense. To me anyway. I’ll explain throughout my review. 

Woops, I guess I forgot to give the name of the book. Lady of the Shades. A fantastic novel from a fantastic writer. I don’t think I have ever read a book with so many plot twists in my entire life, every time another was said I just got more hooked. I really had to figure out how it all pieced together.

With the darkness of John Connolly and the quirkiness of Neil Gaiman, Lady of the Shades is a dark supernatural thriller for adults from the number one bestselling YA author, Darren Shan.

Ed, an American author on the hunt for a story for his next book, arrives in London looking for inspiration. A stranger in a strange city, he's haunted by a deadly secret that refuses to stay buried, and no matter how hard he tries he cannot escape the manifest sins of his past.

What Ed wants is answers, what he find is something he definitely didn’t bargain for: the beautiful and untouchable Andeanna Menderes. Andeanna is a woman who is dangerously bound to one of London’s most notorious crime lords, and if they are caught together it could mean death for them both.

Ensnared in an illicit affair that can only be conducted in the shadows, Ed’s world is turned upside down as a series of shattering revelations blurs the line between  what’s real and what’s not…

I thought the description of the back of the book would be hard to figure out what it was actually about so you should be able to figure out this one out easily. I figured I would have to say this at some stage in this review but, this but is very messed up, really weird.. But in a scary, interesting way I guess. 

“I wake abruptly from a troubled sleep to find the dead pressing in tightly around me.”

It was a very good book. I only got into it around part two or three because that’s when there was loads of things you have to think about and figure out. It reminded me of a Sherlock Holmes story which is one of the reasons I enjoyed it. It took him thirteen years to write it which is amazing. 

I would recommend this book to fifteens and up. All I can say it it’s a bit of a twister and you will never expect what happens. I would give this book four out of five stars. I have to say it again even though your probably sick of hearing it but I’m warning you it’s a very strange book, but there was no dull moment. Darren Shan has done it again and I have extra love for the cover. 

The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell

Fairy Tales. Everyone knows the stories, from the evil villains, to thee ’Happily ever after’. One thing about Fairy Tales is that there so predictable. Now, I’m not saying I don’t like them, in fact I love them. My favorites are the  Grimm brothers, when there not changed for kids because there to morbid or scary.

The name of the book I’m reviewing this week is The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell. obviously you can see from the name and the little paragraph up there that this book is about fairy Tales. But not how I described them, this book was amazing and had all my favorite characters and they had a few from nursery rhymes.

One thing I only noticed after I bought the book, was the author. Chris Colfer. At first his name didn’t ring any bells, but then I went to the last page and it showed a picture of the author. You probably know who it is by the name, but if you don’t know, like me, It is the boy from glee that goes by the name of Kurt Hummel on the television series Glee. I was really shocked. It’s actually his first novel, I really hope he writes more because he’s quite good at it.

Alex and Conner Bailey’s world is about to change, in this fast-paced adventure that uniquely combines our modern day world with the enchanting realm of classic fairy tales.
“The Land of Stories” tells the tale of twins Alex and Conner. Through the mysterious powers of a cherished book of stories, they leave their world behind and find themselves in a foreign land full of wonder and magic where they come face-to-face with fairy tale characters they grew up reading about.
But after a series of encounters with witches, wolves, goblins, and trolls alike getting back home is going to be harder than they thought.

My favorite thing about this book was that it wasn’t set during the fairy tales, it’s set after them. When Alex and Conner soon discover, the stories they know so well haven’t ended in this magical land- Goldilocks is now a wanted fugitive, Red Riding Hood has her own kingdom, and Queen Cinderella is about to become a mother.

“Woo! It’s so cold, I think we may be twin sisters now,” he said through rattling teeth.”

“Even in the worst of situations-even when it seems no one in the world appreciates you-as long as you have hope, everything can get better.”

“ We've lost count.” Lampton said. “There are three currently. King Chester had four sons: Chance Charming, Chase Charming, Chandler Charming, and Charlie Charming.”

“Maybe there are so many paintings of her because she’s the first monarch the kingdom has ever had. It doesn't have the history the Charming Kingdom has,”  Alex said.
  “Or she’s just a self-obsessed twit,” Conner said.

There were some funny bits in the book, like the posters or signs like:

Sir Humpty Dumpty’s wall, you were a good egg and shall be missed by more than just the king’s horses and men. Rest in pieces.

In memory of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, you were a liar, but you were loved.

WANTED. DEAD OR ALIVE. GOLDILOCKS. FOR BURGLARY, THIEVERY, AND RUNNING FROM THE LAW.

Okay, although I did enjoy this book especially thee characters, there was a few things that I didn't like very much. The twins escaped dangerous situations far too easily, again, the plot lacking imagination. The sentences were far to simplistic, even for a children’s book for example he uses “Conner said” or “Alex said” every single time they speak.

I would recommend this book to children from the age of eight and up. I did enjoy bits and parts of it, it was a very good read. I hope if he decides to write any more books he will be able to improve some weak parts of the plot.

Who Could That Be at This Hour?

So I have been very busy week with study and homework and more study, but of coarse I still made time for reading. Actually I  surprisingly I finished two books this week and started the next one.. I can’t tell If that’s a good thing or a bad thing.. I’m going to say a good thing. Okay, lets get down to business. Lemony Snicket. If you don’t know the name.. get your butt onto the internet and look this genius up. NOW. I’m NOT kidding. Stop reading this and go. ……… okay, your back? You know all about his greatness? Yes. Okay. Now lets get down to business for real.

Before you consider reading “Who Could That Be at This Hour?” ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you curious about what is happening in a seaside town that is no longer by the sea?

2. Do you want to know more about a stolen item that wasn't stolen at all?

3. Do you think that’s any of your business? Why? What kind of person are you? Really?

4. Who is that behind you…

I don’t know about you but when I read that for the first time in easons I looked behind me to find a little kid with pony tails staring at me. It was terrifying. But even though this is a good, mysterious piece to put on the back of a book, It doesn't really tell you what the story’s about. So that’s why I’m going to write one that tells you exactly what it’s about.

 In a fading town, far from anyone he knew or trusted, a young Lemony Snicket began his apprenticeship in an organization nobody knows. He started by asking questions that shouldn't have been on his mind. Now he has written an account that should not be published, in four volumes that shouldn't be read. This is the first volume.

It may not make that much sense but I really do recommend you read it. If you have read ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ then you know what I’m talking about when I say that Lemony Snicket’s books are perfect nonsense and also perfectly serious and logical. He is just brilliant when it comes to the way he writes and the way he words the scene or the characters.

“It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business.”

“The library was one enormous room, with long, high meta shelves and the perfect quiet that libraries provide for anyone looking for an answer.”

“There’s an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil. Then sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each. Then throw the piece of paper away and find whoever is screaming so you can help them. It is no time to fiddle with paper.”

 I really enjoyed this book and I am looking forward to reading the next three. I have to confess I haven’t finished ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ yet. I am a failure... No, but I have good reasons.
1. I just haven’t had time, I'm always busy saving the world and what not.
2. Of course in Dundalk they don’t actually have the books.. they never do..
I’m going to wait till Christmas or till I have money and order them. I have read one and two and they were amazing but I will get round to the rest.

Okay, back to “Who Could That Be at This Hour?” It was really good I mean really, really good. I would give it five out of five and recommend it to all ages. Even though Lemony is absolutely bonkers, completely mad, over the edge, He still did a fricken amazing job at writing this book.

The Knife of Never Letting go

So this week I’m going to review a book that was recommended to me by my very wise when it comes to books cousin, Meg. I’m glad she did because It was amazing. It’s call The Knife of never letting go, It’s from a trilogy called Chaos Walking written by Patrick Ness. I really wanted to finish it Friday night. I tried really hard. For example drinking loads and leaving lights on and listening to music but it worked to no avail.. I still fell asleep. When I woke up I realized I had read a hundred and twenty-two pages and I was only ten pages from the end. So I finished reading it in my aunties house the next day. And I was so shocked by the ending. I didn't even care there was a kid climbing on my back. I was frozen with shock.

When I first bought it and read the back It made no sense to me at all. I was so confused. So I asked  the smartest thing I know. The Internet. Still I didn't understand. I put a post on facebook asking people and they just said “Just keep reading”, “Just keep reading”. I did. After about three or four chapter I figured it out. I’m here to explain it right and to make sure you don’t end up like me.

Prentisstown isn't like other towns. Everyone can hear everyone else's thoughts in an overwhelming, never-ending stream of Noise. Just a month away from the birthday that will make him a man, Todd and his dog, Manchee -- whose thoughts Todd can hear too, whether he wants to or not -- stumble upon an area of complete silence. They find that in a town where privacy is impossible, something terrible has been hidden -- a secret so awful that Todd and Manchee must run for their lives.

But how do you escape when your pursuers can hear your every thought?

I have to say I really enjoyed this book. After I finished it on Saturday I went straight to easons and bought the next one along with three other books, even though I had six at home I haven’t read yet (I don’t have a problem).

“But a knife ain’t just a think, is it? It’s a choice, It’s a choice, it’s something you do. A knife says yes or no, cut or not, die or don’t. A knife takes a decision out of your hand and puts it in the world and it never goes back again.”

“I promised to keep on going but maybe keep on going means coming back first.”

“And she says, “Then lets just take the effing road and get ourselves to Haven.”
I smile , a little. “You said effing,” I say. “You actually said the word effing.” 

“…and I have this stupid little thought that Aaron didn't survive the croc attack after all, that he died but he’s so pissed off at me that dying didn't stop him from coming here to kill me anyway.”

Usually I would love to have the super power or gift that the main character or all the characters have. But in this case not one bit. For someone to read my thoughts all the time would be really creepy.

I really did enjoy this book the more I got into it. I would say who my favorite character is and why, but he/she/it isn't supposed to be in the book in the first place. It may seem confusing now but if you read the book you will understand. He/she/it is found in the swamp (that’s a hint, if you read it.).

I would say this book would be aimed towards young adults. I would say for ages fourteen and up. I would give it four out of five because the beginning was hard to grasp at first.

I absolutely ended up adoring this book. It was amazing, really something to get into, terrifying, full of suspense and I could go on but I have to go and start my next book.