I think my review should start with an evil laugh. You’ll understand more once I tell you about the book. I got the first and second book together and started them instantly. The name of the book is Dark Lord: teenage years by Jamie Thomson. Unfortunately I might not have a review up next week. Exams, but I’ll try and if one isn't up on Monday I apologise. Sincerely.
Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to. Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2.
It may seem like a lot for writing just to say what the story's about, but believe me, this book deserves it. I really did love this book. I haven’t enjoyed a book and actually laughed out loud like this since Skulduggery Pleasant.
Why I got bought these books was because this book was the Roald Dahl Funny Prize winner 2012 in the seven to fourteen category.
I have to say my favourite character would have to be Sooz (Susan), known as the child of the night by Dirk Lloyd aka The Dark Lord. She’s very funny and I like the tone of voice and the fact that her personality is so strange, weird and wonderful.
“You may call me master”.
“Purejoie! Your homework is late - no excuses, detention.
Then he became Christopher again. ‘I think not, Mousehammer! Meet my bodyguard, Darth Vader!’
Christopher put on the deep, dark voice with the breathing difficulties and said, 'Your powers are weak old man! The ability to give out detention is insignificant next to the power of the force'”.
“He’s like, really miserable. Depressed or something, I’m not sure. The whole thing seems to have hit him pretty hard. He’s like Darth Vader on valium. Hasn't said a word since we got back, just stares glumly out the window”.
“Well, Goths are people who follow a particular fashion style. And a particular kind of music. But it has to be Gothic - you know, some Victorian looking stuff, horror films, maybe a vampire look, which I’m so pleased you noticed. Bit of heavy metal sometimes, or grunge, or some indie bands, and death rock as well. But mostly for me, straight up Goth are kind of, well, different, like outsiders. We don’t fit in with normal people. Or “Normies” as I call them”.
“‘I shall use all my evil genius to see you liberated from the baleful influence of that tyrant Grousammer and you will be free to prowl the night like the sweet little vampire you are’, Dirk enthused.”
I loved this book and I can’t wait to start the next one. If I could I would give it a thousand stars but I’ll just stick with five out of five for now. I would recommend this book to elevens and up. I would just like to give a big, MASSIVE thanks to Paul Sherry for buying me these books!
Thank you.
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